Sunday, 23 September 2018

Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 21 September 8.30pm

Previously published at: https://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com/2018/09/coronation-street-episode-review-friday_48.html

We’re back. Toyah has rescued Imran after his beating at the hands of Tim and is tending his wounds and insisting that she definitely doesn’t fancy him whilst looking at him like he’s an all-you-can-eat tofu buffet. I’m not totally convinced of the chemistry between these two, but he’s at least a better match than Peter.


Over at the factory Peter is feeling like Carla’s lackey so hatches a plan to buy an abandoned snooker hall which has miraculously appeared overnight on Victoria Street. You do have to wonder where he is getting his pots of money from? Has he done some sort of deal involving a cow and some magic beans?

Claudia is still over at the Barlow residence. She offers to read Ken’s short story which Daniel has already dismissed as being too wordy. When she proffers a perfectly good suggestion about it having a female protagonist Ken gets a bee in his bouffant about dumbing down and practically calls her stupid. The cheek of it! Next time Claudia forget about the facial and give him a back, sack and crack wax.

Back at the McDonald’s Liz is fussing over Hannah like a spandex clad Florence Nightingale. She suggests Hannah move in so that she can look after her. Jim’s not impressed with the idea. ‘You’re supposed to be taking things slowly’ he growls. Hannah retaliates by accusing him of still having feelings for Liz, the woman who abandoned him in his hour of need. He denies it, insisting he wants them to have a future together. Later out of Hannah’s earshot Liz apologises for not being there for him and tells him he is welcome whenever he likes. Will Jim have second thoughts about conning Elizabeth?

Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 21 September 7.30pm

Previously published at: https://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com/2018/09/coronation-street-episode-review-friday_22.html


We open in prison with Sally, the new Weatherfield one, practicing her relaxation techniques. One thing you can say about Corrie is they get the most out of their sets. That prison and hospital has had more use this year than Liz’s tummy-control thong.

Sally could be gracing both with her presence soon as, totally forgetting where she is, she boasts about formerly being the mayor and having a rich husband, earning her a bloody nose from her thieving cellmate. Weeping and humiliated she realises her mistakes, forgives Sophie and reinstates Paula.

The man who is partly the cause of all this isn’t having a much better day. In the café Imran is humiliated by the Battersby sisters when he’s made to get down on one knee and apologise to Leanne. Then outside the café he gets a thumping from Tim for putting Sally behind bars.  That’ll teach him to be educated and look dashing in a suit. The best way to avoid misfortune in Weatherfield is to have one O-level in pottery and dress like you’ve rolled yourself in glue and ran through a charity shop.

Talking of style Ken gets a terrible haircut from Audrey which Claudia offers to fix in return for a glass of vino. When Aud calls round to apologise Ken is in a face pack looking a dead ringer for Sergei in the opening credits.

Meanwhile over at Chez McDonald there’s some bad news concerning the impending nuptials. Tracy and Steve’s wedding venue has gone up in flames. How did that happen? Did Tracy cross the threshold without being invited? Either way they can’t get the deposit back. ‘I’m gonna be skint after this wedding’ Steve moans to his feckless father, causing Jim to text Hannah telling her they’ll have to concentrate on getting the money out of Liz. Not a girl to hang about, Hannah immediately pretends to collapse in the Rovers from her fake illness.

I’m not sure this is part of Big Jim’s plan so it’s not…but we’ll find out at 8.30.

Wednesday, 19 September 2018

Top of the Fox

Like a Pet Dog (to be sung to the tune of Madonna's 'Like a Virgin')

I made it through the winter months
Somehow I made it through
Didn't know how starved I was
Until I met you

I'd have eat-en my feet
I was thin
I was stealing from bins
But you gave me a meal
And it made me feel
Happy and full

Like a pet dog
Fed by a friendly human
Like a pet dog
When you serve me, food from a can

You gave me beef with biscuits
You gave me turkey and rice
Been sitting outside your door
I don't need calling twice

You're so kind
Will you mind..?
If I dig, up your plants and rocks
Cos I must confess...
I love to make a mess
I am still a fox

Not a pet dog....