Introducing....Top of the Fox

Living in the suburbs you see a fair few urban foxes. I've gotta admit I love them with their wily

faces, their bold cheekiness and their determination to survive at all costs - whether that means raiding a bin or snacking on a rat (who knows what London's rodent problem would be like without 10,000 urban foxes patrolling the streets?).

The skinny-looking chancer above visits my garden on a regular basis looking for some food. It's a tough life being an urban fox so I decided he deserved a chicken leg and a soundtrack.  In the first of a series we have:

I Got Some Chips (to be sung to the tune of 'I Saw the Light' by Hank Williams)

I wandered so hungry, stomach empty

I couldn't find nothing for my tea
Then a drunk's dinner slipped through his fingertips
And Praise the Lord, I got some chips

I got some chips, I got some chips
I just can't wait, I'm licking my lips
Now I'm so happy I'm doing backflips
Praise the Lord I got some chips

I was so hungry I'd bitten my tail
I'd even eaten some slugs and a snail
I couldn't stand no more hardships
Then Praise the Lord, I got some chips

I got some chips, I got some chips
I just can't wait, I'm licking my lips
Now I'm so happy I'm doing backflips
Praise the Lord I got some chips

Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 7 September 8.30pm

Previously published on the Coronation Street Blog

And we’re back in the Rovers where it’s fair to say that Jim is about as welcome as a hedgehog in a condom factory. Peter tries to attack him for the dodgy alcohol he gave him in prison and Steve storms out of the Rovers telling his dad that he’s nobody to him.

Finally, Liz takes him to the backroom, but not before Jim has clocked the sexual tension between her and Johnny. He can read Elizabeth like a book, so he can. He wants to know why Liz’s name isn’t still above the door of the Rovers, why Steve is marrying the Antichrist and a stiff drink…not necessarily in that order. Liz dully fills him in on all the news, including that he has a grandson, but he only gets a cup of tea. Sure, that’ll not quench a man’s brave first.

Back at the hospital Bethany is still ranting at Billy who argues that everybody deserves a chance at redemption. Bethany is having none of it and returns to Coronation Street to tell David. She’s stopped in her tracks when Shona tells her what a good place David is in now. She tells Billy that she’ll keep his secret providing he stays away from Josh. That’s not even the most exciting thing to happen at number 8 as David and Shona have invited Audrey and Lewis around for tea. Gail is understandably rather put out at the silver fox crossing her threshold, but unfortunately it’s only vampires who need an invitation to enter, not suave conmen with a penchant for naval wear. She issues one of her trademark ‘either they go, or I do’ ultimatums. Oh dear Gail. Shut the door on your way out.

Elsewhere Paula invents at least three hastily fabricated reasons to see Sophie. She seems to be a rather accomplished liar does Paula, although on the other hand Sally is very easily fooled. Having completely misread the situation she decides to set Paula up on a date with Kevin, which to Sophie’s chagrin she agrees to as a way to get Sally off her back.  Carla is also up for a bit of matchmaking, thinking that she might be able to push Peter back into Toyah’s floral clad arms. Not out of any sort of altruism of course, just as a way of removing the irresistible Barlow-shaped temptation from her own life.

Back at the Rovers Jim is on his way. He gives Peter a heartfelt apology, asks Liz to intercede with Steve and walks out the door and into a car containing a mysterious young woman.

‘Did you tell them?’ she asks.

‘All in good time’ says Jim.

Right that’s it from me. I’m off to practice my Jim McDonald accent so I am. Until next Friday…

By Kelly on twitter @MsKelstar

Coronation Street Episode Review Friday 7 September 7.30pm

Previously published on Coronation Street Blog.

We start tonight with the delightful sight of Toyah wandering down Coronation Street in her pyjamas. No, she hasn’t taken her boho look to a whole new level, she’s just managed to lock herself out of hers and Leanne’s mystery new home. After some light ribbing from Simon and Imran (but we all know where that’s going to lead), Peter offers her a bag of Tracey’s old clothes which were destined for the charity shop.  While she’s changing he finds time to whip her up a vegan lunchbox and enclose a good luck note. My, my Mr Barlow when did you become a grown-up?

Dev, Tim, Kirk and a reluctant Eileen are planning Steve’s stag. Stag do’s have changed quite considerably in the 21st century, nowadays it’s all kayaking in Iceland or exploring the cultural delights of Andalusia. Clearly none of this enlightenment has reached Weatherfield as the stags have gone for the full on 1970’s experience which means handcuffing Steve to the bar, daft t-shirts and men in bras. As yet no dwarfs are involved but the night is still young.

Over at number 9 Tyrone is still struggling to deal with the discovery of his ‘abduction’ by Jackie. How did it affect his real mother, he wonders? Is she still looking for him? Fizz suggests they turn to Roy for help in tracking her down and Roy does indeed have a plan – looking through 35-year-old newspapers for any report of a stolen child. Before long Brian in is recruited too (despite being mildly disappointed that it’s not an alien abduction). With Cropper and Packham on the case how can they fail!

Over at number 9 Tyrone is still struggling to deal with the discovery of his ‘abduction’ by Jackie. How did it affect his real mother, he wonders? Is she still looking for him? Fizz suggests they turn to Roy for help in tracking her down and Roy does indeed have a plan – looking through 35-year-old newspapers for any report of a stolen child. Before long Brian in is recruited too (despite being mildly disappointed that it’s not an alien abduction). With Cropper and Packham on the case how can they fail!

Meanwhile Bethany spots Billy giving homeless Frank some money and immediately jumps to the conclusion that he’s using drugs again.  Clearly having nothing else better to do, she decides to turn detective and follow him. Good try Miss Platt but you’re no Cropper and Packham. She of course finds the vicar at the hospital giving Josh a bible reading and bursts in accusing Billy of betraying David.

Back at the Rovers Steve is still handcuffed to the bar, waiting for Peter to bring the key when who should walk in but Jim McDonald – back from the Big House.

He greets them with a familiar: ‘What about you Steven. Elizabeth’. And then we’re left to catch ourselves on until 8.30…

By Kelly on twitter: @MsKelstar